Tuesday, 6 March 2012

The head tilt

I hope this is my first and last post to do with others sympathy toward me.

I am not alone I know, I am after all... and breathe, confession on the cards... a mum of multiples.

I met up with a friend to take a walk.
I had my three children with me.
My three under-threes.

After we had walked for a while, my friend said "Do you mind the head tilt?"
I was, admiteddly, caught of guard, had my style of pushing my buggy damaged my posture? Had my way of talking to Seren left me with a tilt?
I looked at my friend curiously.

"You know," she continued, "The way people look at Seren and smile, then catch sight of the boys, and look at you and, you know, tilt their head to one side."

It did bring a smile to my face, as I realised what I have seen for the last year but could not put my finger on.

As we carried on walking we laughed out loud at the majority as the 'tick' was identified in so many.

It of course does not stop here. I have people who "couldn't do what you do", "have nothing to complain about compared with you", and the best of course "couldn't have had twins".

The last is the easiest to address, I didn't know having twins was optional, it must have been a form I overlooked completing, and I was never aware I had an option.

The others are a bit more assuming. You see, it is difficult some days, but my memories of Seren in her first year were equally challenging. I will not ever have three children at different ages, I actually imagine it is just as difficult (or even more so) having three children across different years- but I don't know! And knowing how I parented Seren I imagine I would have found it more difficult with another singleton- but I don't know!

I do know that I pick up each twin less than I picked up Seren- I have not doubled the hours in the day or the number of arms I have, so this is a simple fact. The boys have had to cry more, because I cannot soothe them at the same time, and I think they soothe each other more as a result. The number of times the boys have slept in my bed can be counted on one hand, whereas by this age Seren was going through periods of sleeping in my bed (teething!).

My life as a parent to my three children is no easier and no more diffcult than other parents. Sometimes I could do with a bit of help, usually at soft play when I need to see to Seren and the boys but they are in two different places, but I'm ok at asking for help, and I'm even ok with giving help to other parents when they need it.

I don't need sympathy where my children are concerned, because they are fine, amazing even (this is, of course, their mum talking). I can't imagine my life any other way, I feel a little bit smug I only had two pregnancies and 'got' three children.

Life is full of swings and roundabouts.

I really don't need the head tilt assessment, in the words of Forrest Gump:

1 comment:

  1. I'll have to keep a look out for the head tilt. I don't hang round long enough to chat to people for them to get to tilting their heads. Agree about people saying daft things though - like as good as saying we had a choice in the twins thing. I too am good at accepting help - I think you have to be or life would be damn near impossible. Great insight into parenting of twins.


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