Monday, 27 May 2013

Monday's Multiple Mum: Musings from a Mum #MMM

This week's Multiple Mum features from Musings from a Mum, as an anonymous blogger I admire the passion which is invested in each post. I love this post about changing to a default position of 'yes', I love the posts about potty training, we will get there!
Musings from a Mum fortunately details the important things we face, and being one step ahead, it's a great blog to go to for an understanding of what each milestone can mean.
So, without further ado...
Copywright: www.musingsofamum.com
I’m a multiple mum from Guildford and I blog at Musings from a Mum. I blog anonymously so I can be as honest as possible!
I like running, baking, politics and blogging and of course being a mum.
There’s me, my OH, the big boy (who’s now 6) and the twins, a boy and a girl.

How old are your multiples?
They have just turned 4.

What was your reaction to finding you were going to be a mum of multiples?
Shock closely followed by excitement. As a child I always imagined having twins but funnily enough when I was pregnant it didn't even cross my mind!

What did you want to know?
That they would be ok, that I could carry the pregnancy safely and have two healthy babies at the end of it.

What was the best piece of advice you received when you were pregnant? 
To trust my instincts and not worry about everything too much! Focussing on my big boy helped me get through what was a tough pregnancy physically and emotionally as sadly my Dad was very unwell at the time and we weren't certain if he would ever meet the twins.

What support networks do you use? 
I am lucky enough to have a very lovely close family and friends who kept my spirits up when I was sick every day, reminded me that I had a sense of humour when I didn't feel much like laughing and forced me to take photos of the hugest bump I'd ever seen when I was feeling fat and grumpy!

How was your pregnancy?
I always think it was awful but actually it wasn't at all. I was sick every day and felt grotty but there were no serious problems, I enjoyed being scanned more regularly and seeing the twins’ development and I definitely felt more relaxed once I was past 30 weeks and into the home straight.

How did labour go?
One of the twins was breach; the other was small for gestation, so I opted for a c-section. I had this at 38 weeks so I never got to experience labour with twins but having done it once before I opted for what I felt most comfortable with.

In the end, there were two emergency twin deliveries before me (that’s central London for you!) so I didn't have the section until 2pm in the afternoon. Unfortunately, as I'd been sick that day and wasn't allowed to eat or drink I got very dehydrated and quite poorly and ended up with an infection almost straight after so it wasn't the best first night of being a twin mum. The only saving grace was that the twins were with me, my daughter was small at just over 4 pounds and there'd been a discussion as to whether she needed to go to special care. They decided she could stay with me on a heated water bed and I was very relieved in the morning when she showed she was small but feisty by maintaining her body temperature and coming off her special bed.

How did your other half cope?
He was very excited in the delivery room and took pictures of everything for which I am very grateful as I couldn't really take it all in. He was nervous about having twins but as we'd always wanted a big family the most important thing to him was that we were all healthy and happy.

What are your three best investments for multiples?
I really learnt you don't need half the things you think you might! I had ordered a Mountain Buggy as a special treat but the firm went bust so I ended up at the last minute buying a large EmmaLJunga pram on Ebay at a fraction of the cost – that was my best purchase as I could add a buggy board to it for the big boy, it was easy to push and the twins really loved it. It meant we could get out and about in comfort from really early on.

Second best was my video monitors, they saved me a lot of trips upstairs to check on the babies and I used them up until the twins left their cots. This meant I could keep an eye on them when they were meant to be napping but were actually swapping toys or trying to find ways to climb out of cot.

Third best was bouncy chairs, with the best will in the world its hard work juggling twins when you’re by yourself so I set up bouncy chairs and would pop one in whilst feeding the other and even found them effective winders!

What have you done as a mum of multiples which you never thought you'd do?
I stopped work. I never thought I’d be a SAHM but having two children the same age meant I never felt I had enough time to give them each individually particularly as I also wanted to spend time with their big brother before he started school.

What’s your best piece of advice for the early days?
Relax and enjoy it and ask for help from everyone you can! They are only tiny for such a short time so take time out to treasure it. Get out as much as you can manage, fresh air is an amazing thing for raising your spirits and helping babies to sleep.

How has your life changed, now you are a mum of multiples?
It’s busy and simple things that seem completely possible with a toddler and a baby become much harder with a toddler and two babies… being outnumbered, not having enough hands to hold theirs was a little scary at first but the more you manage the more your confidence grows and now they're older I feel completely able to manage things that a year ago would have felt unnerving, like a train trip with the three of them or a day out with just me as the only adult.

At this age, what are the best things about your multiples?
It’s the best but also makes me sad in a way - they are so independent now that they need me far less. They play their own games and have their own friends. I love the fact that they are just beginning to take on the big world but I will miss them like crazy when they head off to school in September.

What have your multiples done which have made you laugh most?
They are very funny and constantly giggling. It’s hard to choose one moment but I think it’s the things they say from mimicking me to telling each other stories, they often get things mixed up and it’s so endearing and very funny.

What’s your best distraction for avoiding tantrums, arguments and/ or confrontation?
“Look there’s a lion/unicorn in the garden, can you see it…” seriously that’s what I do when all else is going wrong. Or I start a story. I've realised that most tantrums happen when they are tired, hungry, or when I want them to do something that they really don't want to do. Getting dressed is a flashpoint in our house and lots of jokes and diversion get the job done…well most of the time.

How has having multiples changed your life for the better?
In so many ways, I am so happy to have them and the big boy. Together they have made me a more relaxed parent. If you can't beat them join them as they say and sometimes when the house is a tip, life is crazy and no amount of bribery is getting them to eat their dinner I've learnt it’s much better just to let it go, play a game, have a cuddle and a giggle and remember that tomorrow is another day and it will be the day they learn to love broccoli. This doesn't mean it’s all sunshine and flowers but I've learnt that there is no such thing as the ‘perfect’ parent all of the time.

I love the reminder of that 30 weeks target. It really is it when your pregnant with twins, that rather than hoping for 40 weeks, you become focused on the 30 week mark.
I imagine, like every mum, I agree with treasuring those early days, my boys are two, and some days I long for them to snuggle in the way they did then. That early bonding creates so many wonderful memories.
And yes!, if in doubt, or at the end of your tether, wear them out with fresh air (which seems to work at any age!).

2 comments:

  1. Thanks for joining in with the Parenting Pin-It Party, following you on Pinterest too (I'm http://pinterest.com/loveallblogs ) x

    ReplyDelete
  2. I really hope my boys will learn to love broccoli tomorrow too. I've just taken away your tip of spotting a lion or unicorn in the garden - thanks, that'll be tried out at the next tantrum! x

    ReplyDelete

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