Friday, 9 August 2013

Floating Boats - Sinking Ships #5

I'm  a bit late joining this party, which represents life right now, but I know I need to take time to breathe and to reflect. So here I am!

Floating Boats
Starting with the sappiest- getting to meet +Sara-Jayne Jones, because of course when you're Welsh you assume anyone with the surname 'Jones' must be travelling from Wales.
Seeing how attached my boys are to their Fireman Sam 'Nee Naws'. I worry about spoiling them. And when you're buying two instead of one, it unfortunately makes it really feel like spoiling.
The joy their 'nee naws' have brought them means I don't care.

Having something to look forward to. Starting with a few drinks with friends, finishing when I go back to work on Wednesday- Wednesday. Two whole days off!

Feeling a sense of calm. Things have been ridiculous at work. This week has been individual performance reviews. I hate performance reviews, my honesty scares me, so I avoid it. Despite this, as I travelled home on Wednesday I felt, for the first time, I had managed to be honest- constructively. I may be naive, the team may have other views. But I feel on a positive cline, just for now.

Sinking Ships
Work- it is never ending. It is like trying to eat jelly with a fork. It is a constant roller coaster of emotion and it feels never like there's no let up. Emails last thing on a Friday which turn your life upside down, but allowed the person sending it to enjoy theirs. Finding the positives when they were so deeply hidden gives a small sense of sanity.

The constant conflict. You know when stay at home mums ask about their annual leave. In jest. And I wonder about my annual leave. It is spent being a stay at home mum. I would give anything to be a stay at home mum. And I know I would then be asking after my annual leave. Summer holidays simply frustrate this, I want to be at home during the last holiday before my daughter becomes embroiled in the education system.

Exams- I have an exam on Thursday. Ha ha.

Routine. School holidays mean our routine is so far out of the window. I wonder when we need to bring everything back in line. But it is impossible to structure our lives around what was their preschool schedule.

Relationships. You know that point of conflict. When you know it doesn't matter what you try to tell someone, they have to find it out for themselves. And you are too close, too biased for that person to accept your feedback, and that you know your relationship means you need to be there to support, and not judge. Even when a person is bleeding every cent out of the person you love, and has the potential to taint forever the feeling of love, to ruin a person's hopes and aspirations just because their needs come first. That.

Aaiissshh, not the best point to finish on.

So, I'll just say, no sinking ship can ever overwhelm the floating boat that is family and friends. So there.
Keep Up With The Jones Family

1 comment:

  1. Aw! You made me cry! So sorry you're going through the mill :( I only work two half days a week so I can't even imagine. I wish I could wave a wand and magic you to be a SAHM :( Sending all my hugs your way ***HHHUUGGGG***


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