Is a rather bizarre title for what will follow as a religious post.
2014 sees me setting myself challenges.
2013 saw me begin a new journey, supporting a wonderful, changing group of young children at Sunday School.
I do not mind supporting children around and about Seren's age.
I know where about I can pitch the readings and activities.
I understand what I would like Seren to appreciate.
And I have enjoyed spending time with Seren and her peers.
And searching Pinterest (and my mind!) for activities and crafts.
And yet January 5th sees me moving to the older group.
The swear words come in.
I feel that fear.
That I fear them more than they will laugh at me.
That they will challenge me.
And my responses will not be enough to satisfy their thirst for understanding and knowledge.
I understand my own beliefs.
And accept them to be individual to me.
That whilst we are all under the same religion.
And to that extent have chosen this path.
We may have done this will different understandings, and callings.
In Church this week, as is my interpretation,
I heard the lyrics (paraphrased) of one of my favourite songs being questioned:
"There's only one way of life,
And that's your own,
Is this prioritising yourself before all else?
Is this saying you are more important that anyone else?
Creating your own importance?
I don't know the answer.
I promised myself I would never regret.
That I would learn from everything to prevent it being a regret.
To be accountable for my actions.
And to me that makes it my life.
That these are the choices I have made.
That I will be guided.
That I have chosen my religion (and therein another song starts playing).
And that I will support my children in finding their own.
That I will exercise tolerance, support and understanding of all the choices they will make in their lives.
And so I hope this life I have chosen does more than demonstrate a selfishness.
That I hope I understand myself to know I cannot blame others, I cannot push things under the carpet, and repeat mistakes.
But that I can forgive and can seek forgiveness.
And this is where I am scared.
I will not stand in front of children as someone who has not made mistakes.
I have made many.
I will sit with them to talk about how we find our paths, and in finding them will follow a direction which will lead us to be the best that we can be.
Do I know our direction to be the only one.
I know others would challenge me.
I know that the direction I have found to be the one I believe in.
I know that my friends have different ones.
And so, this Sunday, I will talk with children about the Epiphany.
About what it means to us.
And about how it affects how lives.
And I hope, that it will mean something.
That they will walk away with a piece more to their understanding.
PS Still thinking about a craft activity!