Wednesday, 1 January 2014

Why mummy being cross stops in a heartbeat

This Christmas break has been the most testing for me.
I don't like having to deal with you in such a bad mood.
I know it is because you are not getting enough sleep.
But I know telling you this makes no difference.
You are your mother's daughter.
You do not tire at night.
Your mind seems to work best at night.
Conversation, jigsaws, books, mummy's tablet.
Anything is fair game if it buys a few minutes.

And whereas your mother recognises all of this.
Your mother did not feel she was ever missing out.
So would sleep in 'til noon.
Whereas you.
The minute you hear the boys playing.
You are in the room.

And so, the black circles under your eyes become my enemy.
I want to obliterate them.
I want you to sleep.
Without tantrums.
I have too often found you at night, crying your heart out in our room, with the mirror positioned to look at you.
As you practice how wide you can stretch your mouth to cry and wail.

How do you persuade a child to sleep?

Let me direct you to your brothers.
Who fall asleep like clockwork.
Put to bed at 7 and subject to no change, asleep by half past.
Any change, asleep by 8.

Your daddy knows I find it hard to admit defeat.
With you, I would always make an exception.
But, I'm sorry, it is making you a difficult child.
I don't want my child to be the difficult child.

I found this tonight, as your grandma asked your daddy to retrieve the photos off the phone she had broken.
Castell Coch den building
Castell Coch. Last summer.
I can look at this photo. And see my gorgeous daughter.
And you are. Regardless.
I know.
I know Grandma had tantrums to get you to be photographed.
You would not get in the den with your cousins.

How do we make you sleep?
How do we give you every chance to be the best you can be?

2014.... the year of sleep?

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