Sunday, 21 September 2014

Fortunate. And crying about it.

I'm sat here crying.
Selfishly.
I have sat here tonight.
And tried to write many of the posts on my 'to-do' list.

But a message received this evening.

It's turned everything on it's head.

A fortnight ago I was doing a puppet ministry.
Madness, rather than "Our House", "Our Church".
Our puppets were kitted out in the boys' sports shirts.
We bought trilby's and sunglasses.

Someone lent me a black tie.
I joked that we don't possess one.

That is the truth.
I know we are fortunate.

This evening.
Expletives want to be revealed.
Comprehension is full of them.

The last time I attended a funeral.
Coming up for two years ago.

A little boy.
The son of a college friend.
Two months younger than my boys.
Died at 22 months.
And of funerals before.
With due respect, of grandparents.
Where there is meant to be acceptance.
I attended Mr J's aunty's funeral.
And that was tough.
Before that.
It was of parents.
Parents of friends.
And that was *insert expletive*

One of which was the parent of the college friend.
Her father.

And today she has lost her mother.

Life moves on.
But distance doesn't.
I met her at the beginning of summer.
Ten years vanished in a conversation.

A baby had been born.
But a child is always remembered.
Three children.
Their family.

And to this evening.
Today.
A celebration.
Of the year since the day their third child was born.
Bittersweet.
To this evening.
The message.
A strong, courage, loving parent has passed.
Acceptance.
I am so proud of the acceptance.
I am unsure I could be so.

And this evening.
It is about the things that matter.
Not the little botherations.
There are the things which will affect our everyday.
The things we are fortunate enough to overcome.
But they are not the things which affect our lifetime.

I know I cannot comprehend.
I am fortunate.
Today more than ever.

For today, and every day,
I will be grateful.
I will try to be compassionate, understanding, and
I will try to be the best person I can be.
Life is the best we can make it.

4 comments:

  1. Oh no, what terrible news for that family. Why do some have to endure more than others? Such sad news, big hug.

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  2. So so sorry x terrible . Life is cruel and unfair. Hug to all.

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  3. So sorry! What terrible news!! Hugs x

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  4. xxx As Claire says life can be cruel and unfair xxx

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