Tuesday, 21 October 2014

Proud mummy- bear with me- it will pass

Being a parent.
I find myself in situations where I don't know how to act, how to behave.
Parents Evening.
What am I meant to ask? What am I not meant to say?
Is there a code to the words being chosen by the teacher.
My daughter is 5 years old, does it matter?
And to be honest.
I don't have the answers to any of this.
This evening was my appointment with Seren's Year 1 teacher.
And it seemed to be more of an introduction than anything else.
Which is probably right, half a term in.
But I did feel the need to ask questions.
I was really proud of how Seren was described in terms of her behaviours.
I was surprised, and not surprised, to hear Seren commended for her artistic and creative ability.
I know this is true of her, but have no benchmark, so it was good to hear this is a strength, and surprising given I don't think this trait is true of Mr J or I.
The remainder of the report seemed to focus on maths, on one hand Seren is undertaking Year 1 maths (speed) and the other she is currently achieving 7/10 and she needs to be at 10/10 (click).
I am sort of ok about this, to be honest, I think Seren is better at maths than I was when I was 7 years old, and I am reassured that she's doing ok.
I asked about her writing ability, I try not to be concerned about every hint that my children might have the same learning difficulties as me, and then Seren presents me with this picture and I can only be concerned (Seren has changed to mirror writing half way through... which is basically how I spent my childhood writing).
Seren's teacher reassured me that I shouldn't be concerned. And even sought Seren's exercise book for me, which she said wouldn't usually be covered until Seren's second parent's evening. She commented that sometimes Seren's writing is messy, but never mirror writing. I felt reassured that it may just be tiredness.
And that Seren's reading ability is fine.

And I am over the moon.
This term, Seren has also been the recipient of an Award twice. And I think- only from my twitter stream- that this is a rarity. To get one is special it would seem.
The Awards are given out, when warranted, on a Friday. They seem to be given out for behaviour traits rather than academic achievement- being kind, helping others,  tidying up.
And to be honest, these are the behaviours that mean most to me in my 5 year old.
Recent experiences seem to show to me that when you are kind, thoughtful and helpful, good things happen. I don't like the idea of 'mean girls'.
And given the horrible world of work, I want Seren to have the opportunity to, one day, find a career which she wants, that offers reward, that she knows what she wants and can be supported in achieving this.
And of course, all of this is written, because of my guilt.

Because in spite of everything she is doing well.
She wasn't breastfed beyond six weeks.
Her mother went back to work full time at six months.
Her parents changed her life by making her a sister to two boys when she was only 22 months.
And then at 30months uprooted her from her home in Yorkshire to Wales.
And her mother obviously favours her brothers.
And can be quite mean to her.
And her mother works a way a lot.
And doesn't remember to help her with her homework,
Or make a packed lunch.

And yet, we rub along.
She forgives me.
She makes me a proud mum.

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